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Torsten Bell, who became the MP for Swansea West last summer, was delivering a speech at a Labour Party conference event when he made the jibe about the Lib Dems leader's weight.

Police said a 40-year-old man opened fire on hundreds of people who had gathered for a service at the Church of Latter Day Saints in Grand Blanc on Sunday morning.

The editors of the culture magazine n + 1 decry the "well-funded upheaval" caused by a large and powerful coalition of pro-AI forces. ("According to the logic of market share as social transformation, if you move fast and break enough things, nothing can contain you...") "An extraordinary amount of money is spent by the AI industry to ensure that acquiescence is the only plausible response. But marketing is not destiny." The AI bubble — and it is a bubble, as even OpenAI overlord Sam Altman has admitted — will burst. The technology's dizzying pace of improvement, already slowing with the release of GPT-5, will stall... [P]rofessional readers and writers: We retain some power over the terms and norms of our own intellectual life. We ought to stop acting like impotence in some realms means impotence everywhere. Major terrains remain AI-proofable. For publishers, editors, critics, professors, teachers, anyone with any say over what people read, the first step will be to develop an ear. Learn to tell — to read closely enough to tell — the work of people from the work of bots... Whatever nuance is needed for its interception, resisting AI's further creep into intellectual labor will also require blunt-force militancy. The steps are simple. Don't publish AI bullshit. Don't even publish mealymouthed essays about the temptation to produce AI bullshit. Resist the call to establish worthless partnerships like the Washington Post's Ember, an "AI writing coach" designed to churn out Bezos-friendly op-eds. Instead, do what better magazines, newspapers, and journals have managed for centuries. Promote and produce original work of value, work that's cliché-resistant and unreplicable, work that tries — as Thomas Pynchon wrote in an oracular 1984 essay titled "Is It OK to Be a Luddite?" — "through literary means which are nocturnal and deal in disguise, to deny the machine...." Punishing already overdisciplined and oversurveilled students for their AI use will help no one, but it's a long way from accepting that reality to Ohio State's new plan to mandate something called "AI fluency" for all graduates by 2029 (including workshops sponsored, naturally, by Google). Pedagogically, alternatives to acquiescence remain available. Some are old, like blue-book exams, in-class writing, or one-on-one tutoring. Some are new, like developing curricula to teach the limits and flaws of generative AI while nurturing human intelligence... Our final defenses are more diffuse, working at a level of norms and attitudes. Stigmatization is a powerful force, and disgust and shame are among our greatest tools. Put plainly, you should feel bad for using AI. (The broad embrace of the term slop is a heartening sign of a nascent constituency for machine denial.) These systems haven't worked well for very long, and consensus about their use remains far from settled. That's why so much writing about AI writing sounds the way it does — nervous, uneven, ambivalent about the new regime's utility — and it means there's still time to disenchant AI, provincialize it, make it uncompelling and uncool... As we train our sights on what we oppose, let's recall the costs of surrender. When we use generative AI, we consent to the appropriation of our intellectual property by data scrapers. We stuff the pockets of oligarchs with even more money. We abet the acceleration of a social media gyre that everyone admits is making life worse. We accept the further degradation of an already degraded educational system. We agree that we would rather deplete our natural resources than make our own art or think our own thoughts... A literature which is made by machines, which are owned by corporations, which are run by sociopaths, can only be a "stereotype" — a simplification, a facsimile, an insult, a fake — of real literature. It should be smashed, and can. The 3,800-word article also argues that "perhaps AI's ascent in knowledge-industry workplaces will give rise to new demands and new reasons to organize..."

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RIATH AL-SAMARRAI AT BETHPAGE BLACK: The Ryder Cup is returning home to Europe after Rory McIlroy and his band of brothers sneaked over the line against Team USA to retain the trophy.

DANIEL MATTHEWS AT BETHPAGE BLACK: Europe sealed a 15-13 win on Sunday afternoon thanks in part to half a point from Viktor Hovland - despite him withdrawing from his singles match.

To say that Fleetwood collapsed would be unfair. Just like his many past near-misses on the PGA Tour, the result doesn't show the full story. He was a talisman for Europe.

PLUS: Interpol recoups $439M from crims; CISA criticizes Feds security; FIFA World Cup nets dodgy domain deluge

Infosec In Brief  Police in the Netherlands arrested two 17-year-olds last week over claims that Russian intelligence recruited them to spy on the headquarters of European law enforcement agencies.…

They claim it would lead to the immediate resignation of that senior aide, the PM's chief of staff, Morgan McSweeney. Still others believe it could result in the resignation of the Prime Minister himself.

Might millions of prospective Reform voters say to themselves: 'My God, he's spot on. Farage really is pulling us apart. Starmer is the voice of moderation and decency. We must support Labour'.

The average age of those I talk to is 23, all of them enjoying exactly the same sort of night on the town that once appealed to their parents - or their grandparents.

It has been a Labour stronghold since 1945 - but now in Bootle, on the banks of the River Mersey, even lifelong 'Red Wall' voters are fed up with Sir Keir Starmer.

Motorists in Royal Tunbridge Wells (pictured), Kent, instead of enjoying the supposed peace and quiet of the garden of England, are 'at war' over what they dub a 'car parking crisis'.

'I can see from his phone that he's somewhere in east London, near Brick Lane,' she types. 'He was supposed to come home straight from work. I'm praying he's not gone out clubbing again.'

The real clues to who has serious money are subtler these days, from the butter they buy to their children's hobbies. Here's your cheat sheet for spotting the secret millionaires around you.

Guy Nelson (pictured), 57, from Leamington Spa, Warwickshire, was last known to be sailing near Drake's Island on September 8.

The frontman, 53, is set for a showdown with Liza Ghorbani, 51, just hours after coming off stage at Wembley in Oasis's final UK show of their reunion tour.

Journalist Phil Dampier told The Daily Mail that the sisters 'may feel it would be unfair' of them to join the King and Queen and other members of the Royal Family at Sandringham.

Squeezing between punters' shoulders to get to the bar, sharing stories around beer-stained tables and packing out gardens, the Great British Pub has been at the very heart of our culture for centuries.

The famed author, 60, confessed that she wouldn't 'forgive' the stars of the iconic franchise - Emma, Rupert Grint and Daniel Radcliffe - after they shared their views on transgender women.

Liam previously said he was avoiding alcohol and working to get fit when the reunion tour was announced.