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Also known as the Burngarth Cockerel after the 18th century Grade II-listed cottage to which it belonged, the sculpted yew - which once reached 30ft tall - was visited by tourists.

A man has been crushed to death after being trapped beneath 300 kilograms of glass.

Horrifying footage has emerged showing the moment a car ploughed into pedestrians in central London - leaving one woman fighting for her life.

The gunman accused of shooting eight young children dead in Louisiana on Sunday morning has been identified as Shamar Elkins, 31.

You can't fix what you can't see – especially when your workspace is a maelstrom

Who, Me?  Welcome to yet another Monday, and therefore to this week's edition of Who, Me? For those unfamiliar, it's The Register's reader-contributed column that shares your stories of workplace messes, and how you tried to clean them up without dirtying your career prospects.…

So just who is Mr Pike? The Daily Mail set out to answer this question and found that for one who has so doggedly avoided the limelight Robie Uniacke is quite the colourful character.

So just who is Mr Pike? The Daily Mail set out to answer this question and found that for one who has so doggedly avoided the limelight Robie Uniacke is quite the colourful character.

"Here, you're a programmer, take this over. It's business critical."

That's what Felicity's boss told her when he pointed her to a network drive containing an Excel spreadsheet. The Excel spreadsheet contained a pile of macros. The person who wrote it had left, and nobody knew how to make it work, but the macros in question were absolutely business vital.

Also, it's in French.

We'll take this one in chunks. The indentation is as in the original.

Public Sub ExporToutVersBaseDonnées(ClasseurEnCours As Workbook) Call AffectionVariables(ToutesLesCellulesNommées) Call AffectationBaseDonnées(BaseDonnées) BaseDonnées.Activate

The procedures AffectionVariables and AffectationBaseDonnées populate a pile of global variables. "base de données" is French for database, but don't let the name fool you- anything referencing "base de données" is referencing another Excel file located on a shared server. There are, in total, four Excel files that must live on a shared server, and two more which must be in a hard-coded path on the user's computer.

Oh, and the shared server is referenced not by a hostname, but by IP address- which is why the macros were breaking on everyone's computer; the IP address changed.

Let's continue.

'Vérifier si la ligne existe déjà. If ClasseurEnCours.Sheets("DATA").Range("Num_Fichier") = 0 Then Num_Fichier = BaseDonnées.Sheets(1).Range("Dernier_Fichier").Value + 1 Insérer_Ligne: '(étiquette Goto) insérer une ligne Application.GoTo Reference:="Dernière_Ligne" Selection.EntireRow.Insert 'Copie les cellules (colonne A à colonne FI) de la ligne au-dessus de la ligne insérée. With ActiveCell .Offset(-1, 0).Range("A1:FM1").Copy 'Colle le format de la cellule précédemment copiée à la cellule active puis libère les données du presse papier .PasteSpecial .Range("A1:FM1").Value = "" 'Se repositionne au début de la ligne insérée. .Range("A1").Select End With Application.CutCopyMode = False

Uh oh, Insérer_Ligne is a label for a Goto target. Not to be confused by the Application.GoTo call on the next line- that just selects a range in the spreadsheet.

After that little landmine, we copy/paste some data around in the sheet.

That's the If side of the conditional, let's look at the else clause:

Else Cherche_Numéro_Fichier: ' Chercher la ligne ou le numéro de fichier est égale à NumFichier. While ActiveCell.Value <> Num_Fichier If ActiveCell.Row = Range("Etiquettes").Row Then GoTo Insérer_Ligne End If ActiveCell.Offset(-1, 0).Range("a1:a1").Select Wend 'Vérifier le numéro d'indice de la ligne active. If Cells(ActiveCell.Row, 165).Value <> ClasseurEnCours.Sheets("DATA").Range("Dernier_Indice") Then ActiveCell.Offset(-1, 0).Range("A1:A1").Select GoTo Cherche_Numéro_Fichier End If ActiveCell.Offset(0, 0).Range("A1:FM1").Value = "" End If

We start with another label, and… then we have a Goto. A Goto which jumps us back into the If side of the conditional. A Goto inside of a while loop, a while loop that's marching around the spreadsheet to search for certain values in the cell.

After the loop, we have another Goto which will possibly jump us up to the start of the else block.

The procedure ends with some cleanup:

'----- ' Do some stuff on the active cell and the following cells on the column .----- BaseDonnées.Close True Set BaseDonnées = Nothing End Sub

I do not know what this function does, and the fact that the code is largely in a language I don't speak isn't the obstacle. I have no idea what the loops and the gotos are trying to do. I'm not even a "never use Goto ever ever ever" person; in a language like VBA, it's sometimes the best way to handle errors. But this bizarre time-traveling flow control boggles me.

"Etiquettes" is French for "labels", and it may be bad etiquette but I've got some four letter labels for this code.

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Martin Clunes has shut down claims of a Men Behaving Badly return in a new interview.

Essex Police are appealing for information

I am a 76 year old pensioner. I receive a private pension from the civil service pension scheme, as well as my state pension. I'm now overpaying tax.

Fire crews were called to the scene of a collision on an Essex route.

Fire crews were called to the scene of a collision on an Essex route.

Sir Keir was told about it last Tuesday, meaning that he could have made a statement to MPs before Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday or at any point on Thursday when Parliament was sitting.

Tests scheduled for May can’t come soon enough after VGER 1 power glitch led to instrument shutdown

NASA has revealed it’s working on a plan called “The Big Bang” that it hopes will extend the working lives of the Voyager probes.…

The total value of the gift bag was just under $200.

TWO massive blazes in Essex at different industrial sites broke out late last night as firefighters launched a huge response.

TWO massive blazes in Essex at different industrial sites broke out late last night as firefighters launched a huge response.

The information was accidentally sent out

Hugh Jackman and Sutton Foster made a date out of the Sheep Detectives premiere in New York City on Sunday. It comes six months after the couple made their red carpet debut.