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Who, Me?  The world is rapidly becoming a more uncertain place, but The Register tries to offer readers one small point of certainty by always delivering a fresh Monday morning instalment of "Who, Me?" – the reader-contributed column in which you admit to your errors and elucidate your escapes.…

Today's anonymous submission is one of the entries where I look at it and go, "Wait, that's totally wrong, that could have never worked." And then I realize, that's why it was submitted: it was absolutely broken code which got to production, somehow.

Collection.updateOne(query, update, function(err, result, next)=>{ if(err) next(err) ... })

So, Collection.updateOne is an API method for MongoDB. It takes three parameters: a filter to find the document, an update to perform on the document, and then an object containing other parameters to control how that update is done.

So this code is simply wrong. But it's worse than that, because it's wrong in a stupid way.

When creating routes using ExpressJS, you define a route and a callback to handle the route. The callback takes a few parameters: the request the browser sent, the result we're sending back, and a next function, which lets you have multiple callbacks attached to the same route. By invoking next() you're passing control to the next callback in the chain.

So what we have here is either an absolute brain fart, or more likely, a find-and-replace failure. A route handling callback got mixed in with database operations (which, as an aside, if your route handling code is anywhere near database code, you've also made a horrible mistake). The result is a line of code that doesn't work. And then someone released this non-working code into production.

Our submiter writes:

This blew up our logs today, has been in the code since 2019. I removed it in a handful of other places too.

Which raises the other question: why didn't this blow up the logs earlier?

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The couple have been dating since last year and Curtis, 57, has won over fans who have been eager to see the actress meet someone.

A couple who spent more than £70,000 on fertility treatment have welcomed a 'miracle baby' in their late forties following four devastating miscarriages.

I asked for a reconsideration 14 months ago on a decision by HMRC about NI credits. My state pension is £625 a month. I would like this looked into before I die.

Nikki Beach, which became a big name in the US with its Miami beach club - opened in 1998 - is creating a new resort in Jolly Harbour in Antigua.

Aaron Patching, 29, subjected the woman to repeated and brutal assaults which involved him biting her cheek and suffocating her.

David Latter, now 60, was driving a Tesla when he struck John Wiseman in Cressing Road, Witham, in May 2023.

Question: When is a child not a child in the eyes of the Labour Party? Answer: When Sir Keir Starmer thinks there might be votes in it.

You've scoffed all the chocolate, and now you're realising that you only have one day left of your long Easter weekend to freshen up your home in time for spring.

The 52-year-old Beverly Hills, 90210 alumna and seven children - four of whom were hers - took three separate ambulances to the hospital.

Haley Beck, the older sister of influencer and Baywatch actor Noah Beck, is under investigation for allegedly grooming a male student she was a 'sugar mama' to, police said.

NASA's Artemis astronauts are now entering "the lunar sphere of influence," reports NBC News, "meaning the pull of the moon's gravity will become stronger than Earth's." Now as they begin their swing around the moon, the Artemis astronauts "are chasing after Apollo 13's maximum range from Earth," reports the Associated Press, hoping to beat its distance from Earth by more than 4,100 miles (6,600 kilometers). They'll begin their six-hour lunar flyby 14 hours from now (at 2:45 p.m. ET Monday). But in a space-to-earth interview Saturday with NBC News, the astronauts were already describing their first glimpses of the edge of the far side: [NASA astronaut Christina Koch realized] it looked different from what she was accustomed to on Earth. "The darker parts just aren't quite in the right place," she said. "And something about you senses that is not the moon that I'm used to seeing...." [Astronaut Reid] Wiseman called the flight a "magnificent accomplishment" and said the astronauts' ability to gaze at both Earth and the moon from their spacecraft has been "truly awe-inspiring." "The Earth is almost in full eclipse. The moon is almost in full daylight, and the only way you could get that view is to be halfway between the two entities," he said... And while the early photos of Earth and the moon that [Canadian astronaut Jeremy] Hansen and his colleagues have beamed back have been spectacular, the Canadian astronaut said they pale in comparison to the real deal outside their capsule's windows. "I know those photos are amazing," he said, "but let me assure you, it is another level of amazing up here." And their upcoming six-hour lunar flyby "promises views of the moon's far side that were too dark or too difficult to see by the 24 Apollo astronauts who preceded them," notes the Associated Press: A total solar eclipse also awaits them as the moon blocks the sun, exposing snippets of shimmering corona.... At closest approach, they will come within 4,070 miles (6,550 kilometers) of the moon. Because they launched on April 1, the rendezvous won't have as much of the far lunar side illuminated as other dates would have. But the crew still will be able make out "definite chunks of the far side that have never been seen" by humans, said NASA geologist Kelsey Young, including a good portion of Orientale Basin. They'll call down their observations as they photograph the gray, pockmarked scenes. There's a suite of professional-quality cameras on board, and each astronaut also has an iPhone for more informal, spur-of-the-minute picture-taking... Orion will be out of contact with Mission Control for nearly an hour when it's behind the moon. The same thing happened during the Apollo moonshots. NASA is relying on its Deep Space Network to communicate with the crew, but the giant antennas in California, Spain and Australia won't have a direct line of sight when Orion disappears behind the moon for approximately 40 minutes... Once Artemis II departs the lunar neighborhood, it will take four days to return home. The capsule will aim for a splashdown in the Pacific near San Diego on April 10, nine days after its Florida launch. During the flight back, the astronauts will link up via radio with the crew of the orbiting International Space Station. This is the first time that a moon crew has colleagues in space at the same time and NASA can't pass up the opportunity for a cosmic chitchat.

Read more of this story at Slashdot.

A psychic medium who has seen the dead since childhood revealed the two things they all try to tell their loved ones after crossing into the afterlife.

“I feel so much better in myself. My health has improved, and I’ve got my confidence back.”

Dan Simpson, 68, of Idaho, became a viral sensation last month after taking a second trip to a grocery store to get Diet Cokes for a couple when the Domino's where he works ran out.

With alpacas, goats, sheep, horses, chickens and more, Alpaca Acres is home to a variety of adorable animals, many of whom are rescued.

Lidl is looking at 11 locations across Essex as potential sites for new stores - see the full list.

Lidl is looking at 11 locations across Essex as potential sites for new stores - see the full list.

Around 60 guests were dining at the three-star Poseidón Palace hotel when sections of plasterboard and air conditioning ducts collapsed.